Surreal

Surreal. That is the best description of what the last 4.5 months have felt like. I wonder if that feeling will ever wear off? I remember being in the hospital the morning after Noah was born, laying in the hospital bed and holding him in my arms. I remember just staring at him and trying to process that this is my baby, who I carried inside of me for 9 months, who I just gave birth to, who I get to take home and love and raise and hopefully see grow up. My husband and I kept joking ‘this sure is a cute baby, I wonder when his parents will come to pick him up?’ It just didn’t feel real. You spend so long hoping and praying for them, wondering what they will look like, what they will be like, how it will be and feel when they are here. And when that moment comes its just surreal. You can’t prepare for it and even now looking back it still doesn’t feel real. Sometimes when I am alone, or doing everyday things like driving alone in my car it occurs to me: I have a son. I’m his mom. Blows my mind. I kind of hope it always does.